


Burn

by moviegirl71



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:08:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25089679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moviegirl71/pseuds/moviegirl71
Summary: James has made a mistake, a very public mistake, and now he must pay the consequences at home. Inspired by and based on "Burn" from the musical Hamilton.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Burn

**Author's Note:**

> This has been heavily inspired by repeated listening to "Burn" from Hamilton. While Bucky in this piece shares much of his history with Alexander Hamilton, particularly coming from nothing and doing whatever he can to achieve his ambitions, he is not an exact copy of Hamilton. While the pairing is listed as Original Female Character, she is unnamed and no physical description is given. This was a lot of fun to write and hopefully, you'll enjoy reading it!

The door opened, heavy with the weight of the atmosphere of the world. James closed it behind him, shutting out the negativity of the world outside. Despite the difficulties with his story being published today, his job could not stop. President Wilson, his dear friend, was counting on him to carry out the duties of Attorney General. After all, the country was young and laws needed to be upheld if things were to continue.

It was worth it, the words rang through his head as they had all day. Of course, it had been worth it. His honor was one of the few things that he had in this world. Admitting to the affair was more important than being accused of embezzlement. He had come from nothing, through his hard work during the revolution and in building the country’s new government he finally was on the path to achieving his ambitions.

It was the quiet in the house that bothered him first. The younger children should have been asleep, but Alexander and Josephine always sat with their mother somewhere in the house, usually the kitchen or parlor, as they had a lively discussion whether it was on music, politics, or philosophy. Mrs. Jarvis could be heard in the kitchen working to prepare for breakfast in the morning and chiming in on whatever conversation was happening.

But tonight, it was silent. There was no conversation. There was no laughter.

The only thing he heard was the crackling of the fireplace, necessary to keep the house warm as autumn set in. He went into the parlor to see if everyone was reading and encountered his wife.

She was sitting in the wingback chair to the left of the fireplace. Her back was straight, hair still carefully pulled back off of her face. The gown she wore was not one of the comfortable ones she often elected to wear at home in the evenings, it was likely the one she had worn running errands this morning.

Sitting as close to the fire as she was, she was bathed in the warm orange light. It illuminated her face, the closed expression there broke James’s heart. 

“Darling-” James started speaking.

“Stop.” Her voice was cold, so much colder than James had ever heard before. “Did you know that I saved every letter you wrote to me?” She wasn’t looking at him, staring into the fire as if it would answer her.

Belatedly, James noticed the large wooden chest sitting in her lap. It matched the one in his office where he kept the letters she had sent him throughout their marriage while he was away on business. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“I believed you when you said that you loved me, cared for me, even though we barely knew each other then. Even after we married, I believed that we were most ardently in love. You never gave me a reason to doubt that, doting on me and the children. And your words were always so convincing. When we were young, Natasha warned me that you would do whatever it took to survive. That you were a man who would do anything to achieve his ambitions.” Her expression was still cold, her voice even and calm. The fire still held her attention, it was almost as if James were not even in the room. But James knew better- she was aware of everything happening in that room.

“Do you know what my life has become? You were my everything, everything we did, everything I did was to help you become the man you were so desperate to become. I put you above my ambitions because you had so much to offer the world. And I had no qualms about that- even thinking about you, how much I cared for you, I felt like I was burning in the best way possible.”

As she spoke, James walked further into the room. She never even looked at him, eyes remaining focused on the fire as if it held her entire world.

“Did you think about what this would do to me? To the children? This morning I went out to mail the letters I wrote yesterday. And do you know what I saw when I went to get some chocolate for the children? I saw the newspaper headline and everyone staring at me with pity.”

The sinking feeling in his stomach grew, as James realized the depth of his wife’s words. She had stood by him and placed him at the center of her world. But he had forgotten that at one time she was everything to him. Instead, with her support he had blindly chased his ambitions, cared what everyone else thought. Had forgotten her place in his world.

Finally, her gaze left the fireplace in front of her and her cold eyes immediately found him standing mere feet away from her chair. “When I got home the children had already read about it in the newspaper. I had to send them to their rooms just so I could read about...that woman. About you. How could I face them, face anyone after that? Everyone knows what you did, how you ruined everything we built together.”

“Darling, I am so incredibly sorry.” James stepped forward to provide her with comfort but she held up a hand to stop him.

“No,” her eyes hardened as she stood from her chair. “Natasha came to visit as soon as she read about it in the paper. Peggy came to visit as soon as she had read it. Do you know what they said?” She paused for a beat without giving him the chance to answer. “They called you Icarus, said you had flown too close to the sun. And the worst part was that I had nothing to say to refute them. Because you have always been so smart, so clever. You reached too high and you have been burned by the heat of the sun.”

He could no longer stand it, the physical distance between them. The coldness and anguish that radiated out of every pore. James took large strides towards her, the desire to envelop her in his arms growing beyond his ability to extinguish.

But she stepped away, closer to the fire, before turning to face its warmth. James continued until he was standing right behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened in his hold before gently stepping forward and away from his body. His arms dropped and he watched as she angled herself to face sideways at him, hugging the chest in her arms to her chest. Her face once again glowed in the light of the fire.

“You do not get to comfort me now.” Her eyes began to water, face so incredibly hurt but so cold at the same time. It was like her face would break from the amount of emotion etched there. “You cared more about your reputation, your honor, than about what this would do to our family, our lives. So many people came to visit today asking how I was. Eventually, I had to have Mrs. Jarvis send them away, there was no way I could face them.”

Her face morphed into an expression of determination. “I made a decision while you were carrying on with your day. The world has no need to know what I have to say, not now and not ever. They can wonder all they want about my reaction, my pain. You have done plenty of talking for both of us.” She hugged her wooden chest harder, a feat James had not realized was possible.

He met her eyes, still hard and determined. “The world has no place in our home, in our marriage. But clearly, the world means more than our marriage.” One of her hands left the chest and extended towards him, carefully clenching something meant for him. Cautiously, James lifted his hand towards her with the palm facing up to receive her offering. She opened her hand and out fell a simple gold band, thin and delicate. Something that had not left her finger since the day they married nearly fifteen years previous. 

“But right now, I feel as if that ring will burn me from the inside out.” James felt his heart shatter at her words, devastated to discover the depths of his betrayal.

She moved away from the fireplace, hugging the box to her chest. After a couple of steps, she paused. “I have burned every letter you sent me, all of our memories. You no longer have a place in my heart. You no longer have a place in my bed.”

His gaze moved from her to the fire she had been so intent on watching. Now he knew, the ashes at the bottom of the fireplace were the remains of his love. Every word he had meant from the bottom of his heart was now laying in a pile, as burned as his wife felt.

Suddenly she turned back to face James, the determination still clear on her face but the edges were softened by the emotions bubbling beneath her expression. His eyes left the fire to watch her. “You can sleep in your office with only the memory of me to keep you warm.”

The words pierced James’s heart, tears began to pool in his eyes. She was everything, she had been his partner in all things. His eyes slid to the ring sitting in his hand, so warm it felt like it might burn his hand.

Briefly, his eyes moved to look at his wife one more time before she once again turned away and began to exit the parlor. When she reached the doorway she was far enough away from the fire that she was no longer illuminated by its light. 

“I hope that you burn.” Her voice was quiet, but the silence of the house made it feel like she was shouting. With those final words, she left the room. James could hear her making her way upstairs before a door opened then closed.

He was alone with the weight of his decision. A heaviness settled over him and suddenly it felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Without really thinking about it, he moved to the wingback chair on the right side of the fireplace. The cold of the leather was both a balm to his pain and highlighted the emptiness of his heart. He sat there, bathed in the orange light of the fireplace, wondering if this was what it felt like to burn.


End file.
